So this past weekend I went on a retreat with Student Life, a club at Melbourne Uni. Its actually not just a club here but a movement on campuses all across the world! The Umbrella Organization is Campus Crusade for Christ, which is what we call it back home but in Australia they call it Student life. Kind of like how Burger King here is called Hungary Jacks! The retreat was so relaxing and challenging at the same time. I’m sad that is it was my last one unless I stay for their G20 mid-year conference in New Zealand with like all the campuses in this hemisphere! I have so loved being apart of this Christian community, and am way grateful for how much they have helped me grow over the past 2 years. Last weekend specifically it hit me that my trip is half way over! My flight home is merely 2 ½ months away. I was faced with the realization that, I still have no idea what I’m doing here, and if I’m doing a good job at whatever the heck it is. That probably doesn’t make much sense, and I am fully aware that on rare occasions I might have a slight tendency to over think a thing or too, but I can’t help it! I mean scripture says “ I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full!” So I sure as heck better take him up on that! But see, for me living life to the full might be a little different then others. Despite the fact that I’m off gallivanting the world at the moment, sights and activities aren’t of highest value to me. I want to live a life of love. Sometimes that’s easy, and sometimes its hard. Loving people, loving the lord, and loving myself, its exhausting! And I often fear that I am not doing a very good job in any of those areas… I mean fear is mentioned in the bible more times than there are days in the year! And if I’m honest I’ve got plenty of it! I fear I’ve got nothing great to offer, no exceptional skills to use… One thing that was laid on my heart this weekend is that I don’t have to put so much pressure on myself to be everything to everyone, to expect to be doing great things every second of the day, to change the world! For one thing, of my own strength I cant do any of that; and for 2 maybe that’s not what I’m being asked to do. Try to follow me here… It’s easy for me to fall into a narrow sighted perspective in thinking there is only one way for everyone that wants to “live life to the fullest”. But you don’t even have to look any further than the New Testament to see so many examples where this is not the case. In the first chapter of Acts Matthias was chosen to take Judas’s place of leadership. Should Joseph have felt that his life was meaningless because being an apostle wasn’t what God had chosen for him? Of course not! Same with the man that Jesus drove demons out of who begged and pleaded for Jesus to just let him follow him. Should that man have just gone home convinced that the lord didn’t love him or he would’ve granted him the simple request to walk along side of him. Did Jesus just not want him around? Of course not! The plans for that man were special, specific, and unique. They involved taking him back to his home town to declare the gospel to all the people he knew and loved. So, would it be way cooler to get to be Peter, heck yea. But if we’re all Peter who’s left to tell that mans whole town about the love of Christ? Point being, I’m trying to live a life of love regardless of if i'm meant to be a Matthias or the demon guy....
Woops….. That was quite a long tangent…. Supposedly when I get back my rent payment at Uncle Paul and Aunt Christine’s multiplies every time I blog about my faith… Don’t worry though, while he may technically be a genius, jokes on him cuz when you multiply anything by zero its still zero : )
Today’s song is by Bethany Galeotti, a childhood companion of my good friend Jenny Robeson as well as of an actress in my favorite show One Tree Hill!
“I’ve become much too good at being invincible. I’m an expert at play it safe and keep it cool, but I swear this isn’t who I’m meant to be... Let me feel, I don’t care if I break down. Let me fall, even if i hit the ground! … I want to be somebody who can face the things that I’ve been running from…”
